I Pray For Those That Wander
by Admiral StarNight
Summary: Grayson is a strong world, with people steeped in religion and tradition. But when Manticore comes in and the treaty is signed, everything seems to turn on its head. However much women's lives improved after the treaty, they are not the only ones changed by Manticore for the better. This is story of one of those people, who found exactly what he was looking for in the universe.
1. Prologue

_**When Grayson joined the Manticorans, they couldn't of known how much they would progress, how much they would grow, expand and thrive.**_

 _ **But when two very different cultures clash and mix, people are bound to start questioning what is right and wrong. Women on Grayson have, for many years, been nothing more than mothers and caretakers of their husbands. As their rights slowly but surely start to come into existence, the planet began to change, the population looking up to their God, and their savior, Honor Harrington for guidance.**_

 _ **But the women are not the only one who have question their beliefs or their rights. There were others, unseen, whose lives were affected by that alliance.**_

 _ **And this is his story.**_

* * *

My name is Maximilian (Max for short) Austen Carson.

I am a Grayson citizen, faithful follower of The Church of Humanity Unchained, and currently in the Gayson Navy as an officer, a Lieutenant.

I am the second son of Harold Carson, third child to his second wife, Bella Carson.

I have 6 sisters. Rachael, Joy, and Mary, the daughters of Tabitha Carson(my fathers first wife). And my two younger sisters, Sophia and Isabelle.

I have one older brother who, while I love him, can feel a certain irritation towards.

Being the second son on Grayson is like being the spare tire on a car that regularly gets serviced. You're just a spare in case one before you fails. I live the shadow of Andrew Michael Carson, the first son and first child of Harold Carson.

Let me give you some perspective. My worlds women have this odd thing going on where every 2 out 3 births will be female. you can imagine that doesn't work very well in a society where females are not allow to voty, own property, or do many things a modern society takes for granted.

So imagine the surprise when Harold was told that the first child, of his first wife was a boy.

If he hadn't been a boy I could swear my father would name him 'miracle'.

So not only that he turned out to be smart. He studied science and history while in college, he's worked on stuff I can only begin to understand and when he graduated, three weeks later he married his first wife and had a twin daughters 9 months later.

That is the shadow I live in. My father loves me, so do my mothers, but he's always been the pride of the family. 'Andrew did this' 'Andrew is doing that' made me near sick at times.

I joined the navy, so at the least I could protect Grayson from those lunatics on Masada, and say I was protecting my family and (maybe) my soon-to-be wives and future children.

But I never planned on be deployed in the Manticoran Navy. I was still in training when that whole business with the Havenites helping Masada fell out, but after graduation, working in the Office of Supply for a bit, someone picked me to be a sort of 'reach across the stars' gesture to the RMN. I was going to go serve on one of their ships, learns their ways and traditions up close and personal... me! The second, spare-tire son of the Carson family!

I was thrilled to be doing something so interesting, but how would I handle this?

Women practically didn't exist in the Grayson Navy, there were a few serving the offices now, but aboard ship? Don't they share bathrooms in the RMN? Will I have to walk around women I don't know _naked?_ Well, I had steeled my nerve and said I would do it. The person who told me said they'd brief me on all that was done in the RMN that was different, or at least warn me. Honestly I know it was going to shock me, but the eagerness was too strong.

I was going to serve in the RMN.

And I honestly couldn't wait for the day when my father would say 'Look at what my son, Maximilian, did.'


	2. The Tillingham

**There probably will not be many spoilers for plot points in this stories except passing references to the books when I feel they are necessary. This story contains massive amounts of OCs and I will try to stay away from cannon characters unless referenced in passing.**

* * *

Lieutenant (Senior Grade) Maximilian Carson smiled as he grabbed the grab bar and swung himself in the massive space station _Hephaestus._

It was amazing how large this space station was. Nothing in Grayson orbit was so advanced (Though considering the alliance he was sure that would definitely not be the case for long,) and he was in awe. This space station was vast and powerful, servicing and repairing the RMN.. and it was only one of three such stations he had learned, one for each planet.

But that wasn't what he was here for. He was here to go find his ship. It was currently in dock for some minor repairs. The _Tillingham_ , as it was named was a Sphinx-class superdreadnought and supposedly it was one of the newer SDs of the class. She was already past her trials and such but Tester it felt great to be given such an opportunity.

He looked down at his personal memopad and then up at the wall to look for the colored stripe he was to follow to find his ship.

There it was, white and green and he began to follow the line, watching the crowd around him with interest. It still... bothered him a bit to see women of all ages walking around in uniforms. Oh sure he understood they were from a different culture and all looked healthy from what he could tell so it wasn't like they were being abused or mutated up here. But he still could not imagine it feeling right. Like he couldn't see his sisters walking around in a uniform, directing people on a ship, or handling the tools used to build a ship.

But he had taken the trip here to get use to the idea, trying his best to look over the history and cultureal downloads as well as avail himself of a couple movies which would of been downright scandalous on Grayson just a few years earlier because of their female leading roles. It was a pale and somewhat shallow start to what he was doing but as he looked around he felt himself preparing and accepting what was fact here in the RMN, rationalizing that every woman had just as much reason to be here as he did. As he walked he'd spy one and create a story for each to help him. That one wants to protect her younger sisters, this one wanted to protect Manticore, she joined because she felt it was what she was meant to do, what God had told her to do.

He knew the little fictions were probably wrong, but it gave a human face unlike the god-like one Honor had back home, and the faces of his mothers who had never had rights until the treaty began to take effect.

He soon reached his destination and looked up at the marines guarding the end of the tube to the superdreadnought. As he approached he pulled out his ID card and handed it to the senior one of the two. The man studied it for a moment then handed it back with a nod. "Lieutenant Carson, Captain Frazer had been expecting yoiu. He has informed me to tell you to get aboard and get settled then coming to see him. An officer should be waiting for you on the other side of the tube."

Carson gave him a thankful nod and said as such and launched himself into the tube, watching carefully for anyone who may be coming down the tube.

* * *

As he landed on the other side adjusting the personal locker he had been given to care his uniforms he looked around and his eyes fell to a Commander in the black and gold of Manticore and he saluted.

He noted that the officer was a man, he wondered if that was on purpose, and as his hand lowered from the salute and was welcomed on board the man spoke. "Lieutenant Maximilian Carson, I am Commander Jason Cox, the tactical officer aboard the _Tillingham_. I will be the one mainly in charge of your 'stay' in the RMN. We will treat you like one of our own." He began to walk towards the lift. "I should of sent on your fellow Lieutenants down to gather you up, but most of them took leave and left me high and dry so they could go groundside." He got into the lift, punched in a code and the lift began to move. "I hope your stay here will be an eye-opener... and I hope that your religious differences will not get in the way of your duty..." Cox looked over at Carson. "Will they?"

"No Sir." He said respectfully. "I know that your navy is different then mine, I was briefed about and am fully prepared to accept your females officers as my superiors, equals or subordinates." He stated with a confidence he hadn't thought he had. He would certainly try or he would ask to be sent home and another person be sent out who could do his duty better than he.

"Good Lieutenant." Cox said as the lift stopped and he walked a ways down the passage and tapped a door. "This is you'll bunk, we have a full crew so there are 6 to a room. You can download schematics onto your memopad from the terminal and welcome aboard, we're happy to have you."

* * *

It was about two hours later, after some deep discussion with Captain Frazer that he had some free time before he'd have to turn into his bunk. The Captain was a nice man, who was a touch curious about Carson and what he expected to learn and do here in the RMN. He had the downloads from his superiors but after discussing with Carson what he thought, the SN captain seemed a bit more relaxed, like he had expected to get some conservative jackass then what he had gotten.

So now he was headed down the officers gym. given that either everyone was working or the repairs or groundside instead of aboard ship he was gradified to find it nearly empty except for a a man lifting weights and a rough looking marine spotting for him. He walked over to the changing rooms and took a deep breath, he couldn't hear anyone in there but he'd just have to take it in stride if there was and walked in.

There was no one in sight and he went to his locker and began to pull off uniform so he could change into his work-out clothing.

He had just pulled his shirt over his head when a voice spoke.

"Oh you must be the Grayson officer."

He paused and pulled off the shirt and turned to face the friendly, and female, voice.

And froze.

The woman's face was blocked by the towel she was using to dry her wet hair. And she wore nothing else.

It the sense of the alienness grew within him to see that youthful female body naked in front of him. He'd only seen his younger sisters naked when they were children, his mothers had always wore the proper dresses and clothing around the house and only a few times among friends in school had he seen naked women shared by those who happen to find their fathers collection of pornography (even though it was illegal). It felt wrong. He thought that he would embarrass himself by getting an erection when he saw the sacredly clothed (in his religion) body of woman. But he felt nothing, just shock.

As she pulled the towel away from her face the woman realized that by the look on his face that he was shocked and wrapped the towel around her quickly. He felt a bit of shock fading as she moved to a locker beside his. She had blonde hair that fell a bit past her shoulders and eyes that were a dull blue-gray. "I'm sorry about that, I wasn't thinking." She apologized and Carson shook his head to clear his thoughts.

"Not your fault..." He paused, not knowing her name.

"Oh! I haven't even introduced myself, how silly." She said as she dropped the towel in her locker and pulled on the uniform a bit quickly, he noted, and held out a hand. "I am Lieutenant Linea Cartwright, assistant supply officer to Lieutenant Commander Sai, I'm one of the officers sharing the bunk room with you."

"But Commander Cox said none were aboard." Carson argued as he shook her hand and Linea shrugged.

"I came aboard about one and half hours ago after a long relaxing weekend with my mom and dad dirt side, I felt like I tone-weight after all the food they fed me so I came straight to the gym." She explained. "But may i ask your name?"

"I'm Lieutenant, Senior Grade, Maximilian Carson," He smiled a little. "But I like to just be called Max if that's alright with you."

"Then its nice to meet you Max!" She said cheerfully, pulling out a brush and beginning to run it through her hair. "I assume you found the bunk room alright and everything?"

"It was fine, not exactly thrilled to have a top bunk though." Carson said, looking down at his half naked body and reaching to grab his work-out shirt and pull it on. "Got to talk with the Captain too, nice man."

"Yeah he's pretty cool." Linea responded. "Though don't get him mad, the man can go off on you if you're not careful." She warned.

He nodded, acknowledging her warning and looked own, the workout sweatpants he used lay on the bench and he looked up at the fellow lieutenant, still brushing her hair and sighed quietly. He better start getting over it, if they go into combat then he'd have to put on his skinsuit no matter who was staring at him. He quickly pulled the uniform trousers off and pulled sweat pants on before he packed the stuff away, still feeling a bit off balance about his first encounter on his first day here and looked up at her.

"Um Ms. Cartwright..."

"Please call me Linea." She corrected.

Okay, Linea." He said, it felt odd not to address her by her first name, it felt more respectful by saying Ms even though the two were the same rank. "I was wonder if you could help spot me while I lifted some weights?" He asked a bit nervously. "I mean if your not busy."

Linea smiled as she packed up her own locker. "I'd be happy to Max, and it was nice meeting you." As the two started to walk out the gym Carson stopped as she put a hand on her shoulder. "And I'm sorry about the way I approached you. I should of known better."

"No it really is alright." Carson replied, suddenly grinning. "You know, best to get all that shock out of my system before hand. I think I just might be over it by now." He chuckled at his words and Linea smiled.

Maybe this would go better then he thought.

* * *

 **Please review. Comments and helpful criticism welcome.**


	3. Demsey's Bar

**There probably will not be many spoilers for plot points in this stories except passing references to the books when I feel they are necessary. This story contains massive amounts of OCs and I will try to stay away from cannon characters unless referenced in passing.**

* * *

Max yawned, quite a bit bored as he rolled over on his bunk looking over the side down at his bunk mates below.

In the past few months of whirlwind training, drills, meetings and other various things he was doing as the only Grayson officer aboard this ship, he had come to know the other five people in his room well.

Linea had been the first he'd met of course. That gym meeting had damn near given him a heart attack. But for some reason it had probably insulated him against anything worse. He still felt shocked and embarrassed anytime he was in the gym and he saw a woman strip near him, but unlike the total numb horrified shocked disbelief he had felt he just felt a bit... out of place he guessed. He would look away or focus on their face if he had to interact with them.

The other woman in the room he shared was named Charlette Capra. She was only about as tall as Max was, and he was average sized for a Grayson. Her light brown eyes and chestnut hair which was always worn up in a ponytail of sorts to keep it out of her face made her seem... cute. She never seemed to aim for the type of pretty look that Linea did. While Linea wore make up, sometimes a bit garish, especially when she was headed off ship, Charlette was content to keep what she had and never apply anything to it. Capra supposedly had a higher ranking relative somewhere in the service, and for the life of him he could never remember the man's name. But she, nor him, was a noble, so it wasn't like they were anyone high and mighty.

James Murr and Marshal Miller were like twins that had been separated at birth. Both were tall (taller then him at least) men, with a lean towards quickness one had to see to believe. The both of them had black hair and blue eyes, though James had a grayer shade of blue. The two hit off each other in a dynamic that worked great for just about any problem thrown their way. They always seemed to share the same shift, like and dislike the same things and generally always be orbiting around each other.

The last man was Alejandro Valdez, a large man that seemed to fill any room he walked into. With a muscle mass that was probably double Max's own, Valdez was a descendant of some of the those that fled San Martin when the peeps took over. His accent was a tad odd, it was Manticoran definitely, but it had an odd feeling to it, and every once in a while, while speaking his native language, the accent of San Martin would come back out. For such a large man, one would think he belonged in the Marines, but he was a brilliant sort when placed at operations, and he looked right in a navy uniform anyways.

Has he climbed down from his bunk and made his way over to the attached head he marveled how far he had come in the past 4 1/2 months. He still felt out of place looking at naked women in the same room as him, but he had come alone a lot faster then even the people back home probably would of hoped. After all he'd probably be selected just for his ability to adapt quickly and open mind. As he took a quick shower and just as he was stepped out to fetch the uniform he had left in his locker a sudden shrill sound cut through the air like a knife.

He threw himself at his locker and pulled out the skinsuit, (a Manticoran one with Grayson ranks stenciled onto it) pulling it on and wincing as he made the plumbing connections, grabbed his helmet and rushed out the door just as the other were getting up and starting to get to their skinsuits. As he rushed up to the bridge, wracked his helmet,noting that Captain Frazer was already on the bridge, and sat down next to Commander Cox, who gave an approving nod at how fast he had gotten up here.

He brought his own station online and began to help Cox with what he had been trained. In record time the tactical section was green and he felt pleased as he looked at the Captain. Then he looked back at the sensor data and realized the SD was still in Manticore orbit, calmly sitting there while small craft plowed back and forth between the ships and planet. He sat back in confusion as the rest of the officers, midshipmen and enlisted all rushed to their seats. He looked up and saw a faint smile on Frazer's face as he looked up from his command displays and gave Max a wink. He waited a moment until every last person was in their place before giving a small spatter of applause.

"Very good everyone, this unscheduled exercise was to test your reaction times, just because we are in the Home Fleet doesn't mean we get to be lazy. Good job people, you can go back to what you were doing."

* * *

It was soon after his shift that Max was walking down the passages of _Hephaestus._ He enjoyed the large space station, if he was assigned here he would of loved exploring as much as he possibly could, but right now that was not why he was aboard. He was aboard for the neat little getaway called Dempsey's Bar. He never did drink much before he came here. And in all honesty he still didn't drink much.

But away from his parents and the networked families who could report such errant behavior, he could drink more, and not be as suspicious of those around him gossiping that he'd had one to many beers. He looked up as he reached the bar and as he walked in and checked the window, he noted it was on Manticore. The sun shone 'bright' through the window, while the faint sent of a salt water breeze with a touch of what Max was sure was some sort of baking sugar candy flowed through the bar, replicating a boardwalk like feel for the patrons inside. He grinned a bit at that, marveling at the technology which could make it seem like he like could run outside and dive into the ocean...

Now that actually made him wince. He had very little desire to learn to swim, especially coming from a planet that would consider a swimming pool a waste of perfectly good water and swimming in the ocean would kill even a native Grayson. Maybe one day when he wasn't aboard a ship he would take the time, but for now that thought was distant and unimportant as he took a seat at the somewhat empty bar. The spacing was a bit odd and he was forced to sit only a seat away to his right from a young man..

 _Now Max..._ he thought a bit harshly to himself. _You really need to stop calling everyone you see young. He's probably as old as you are, maybe a bit more so. Just enjoy your beer and stop acting like you are lord of all creation, the Tester wouldn't like that!_ He chuckled a bit before ordering one of his favorites beers, a brand called Old Tilman, a favorite here in the Star Kingdom. As his beer was delivered he saw the bartender bring the same back to the man next to him. He shrugged as he took a sip. Well it wasn't like he was surprised that someone else had ordered it.

"Do you mind if I can pay for your beer Sir?"

The question came from his right and he turned in a bit of surprise to the man he'd been forced to sit close to. It wasn't often people talked to each other here in Demsey's unless they were known friends. He studied the man, he was a thin man, with the look of a person born to a lesser gravity, definitely from Manticore itself. His hair was sandy blonde and eyes that were rich brown. His face looked a tad bit to perfect to be completely natural, but if he had any surgery, it wasn't a complete make-over.

"Why do you want to?" He asked in reply, and the man chuckled.

"I just got promoted to Lieutenant Commander and given a nice new slot as an assistant to a deputy constructor here in _Hephaestus_. So I decided to come down here and celebrate... might as well share the enjoyment... if you don't mind." The man replied.

"I guess I could do with a free beer." Max replied. "But now that we're talking, do you have a name Commander?" He said respectfully even though he wasn't in uniform."

"Lieutenant Commander Jacob Morgan, and please just call me Jacob. I highly doubt we are in the same chain of command and I'm not even in uniform." The man named Jacob replied as he turned a bit more to face Max.

"Nice to meet you Jacob." Max held out his hand and Jacob took it firmly. "I'm Lieutenant Senior Grade Maximilian Carson, I prefer just Max though."

"Ah a nice name," Jacob said, taking a sip of his own Old Tilman before speaking again. "Though I do have to wonder, I haven't heard an accent like yours before, where are you from Max?"

"Grayson." He answered and he saw Jacob's eyebrows begin to go up before he got control of his reaction.

"Ah," He said, turning to study the bar and its patrons. "I know we just signed the treaty, but what are you doing out here?"

"Its a... don't really remember what the brass actually calls it, but I simply consider it a 'reach across the stars' gesture. Manticore is going to loan us a boatload of your officers and rating to us to help our navy, so they decided to send me and I think a few others out here to serve in your navy to learn about your traditions and tactics and such." Max responded. After all this was hardly a classified project, his superiors said they hope to be able to do more in the future but for now they were limited in scope due to lack of warm bodies.

"Very nice! So how do you like it here in the Star Kingdom?" Jacob asked as he finished his beer and waved to the bartender for another.

"Its nice, though I've only been here about four local months. Haven't really had the chance to go down to the surface of any of the planets yet."

Jacob looked over at him as his new beer was delivered. "Really?" And when Max nodded to show that he wasn't jesting the Lt Commander shook his head."Then you should definitely get down to the surface of at least Manticore. Its beautiful, and if I remember the news right, your planet is high in heavy metals, correct?" Max nodded again and Jacob gave him a bit of a grin. "Well Manticore is as safe as they come, and its summer in Landing right now and boy is it beautiful. The beaches are lovely, and there are all types of tourist traps you could get into there."

"Beaches aren't really my thing... I'd have to acquire the taste after being warned many times to never go in water that isn't unfiltered." He said dryly. "But I mostly haven't gone down because time is limited, I don't really know what to do and my skipper likes to keep me busy."

"Heh I know the feeling." Jacob said as the bartender came back over. "Can you put this young man's tab on mine? I'm paying for his." The bartender nodded and went to go sort that out and Jacob turned back, tapping his beer thoughtfully. "Tell you what, if you go back aboard your ship..."

"The _Tillingham."_ Max supplied.

"Alright, if you go back aboard her and take a look at your schedule, get some of the times you know you'll be free to go to the surface and I'll try and finagle myself some time off to show you around. Just ask com central to get you Lieutenant Commander Jacob S. Morgan in Vermeer's sector and you should be routed properly, sound like a deal Max?"

"Sure thing Jacob." Max said with a smile, glad to have made a yet another friend in this amazing kingdom.

* * *

 **Please review. Comments and helpful criticism welcome.**


	4. A Celebration

**There probably will not be many spoilers for plot points in this stories except passing references to the books when I feel they are necessary. This story contains massive amounts of OCs and I will try to stay away from cannon characters unless referenced in passing.**

* * *

"Maximilian if you weren't a Grayson I would probably kiss you right now!"

Max looked up from his tactical station with a grin as Marshal wiped sweat from his forehead and sat back and looked his way. The exercise that had been eating up the last few hours had been brutal on all of them, especially once the 'aggressor' had turned out to be a fellow superdreadnought rather then the battlecruiser they had believed it had been at long range. The damage from the exercise had nearly halved his fire control's effectiveness, but he had managed, somehow through blind luck and maybe a touch of skill, to recover enough of it with the help of Damage Control to finish of their opponent.

"That really was brilliant Max, how did you know it was only a short-circuited cross section instead of the arrays itself?"

All the lieutenants twisted around to find Captain Frazer standing in the open hatch.

"Well Captain... I didn't, guess I was just hoping that DCC would be able to find what went wrong and repair it." He replied. "Guess the Tester really was watching over me that time around."

Frazer nodded as he stepped over to the tactical station. "You've definitely improved since you've come aboard Lieutenant, but while I'm sure your Tester is watching over you, I don't think He deserves all the credit." The captain gave him a small pat on the shoulder. max had come to like the man, he really was a great captain, and it was rare to see him angry, but when he was... well it was usually for a very good reason.

"Alright you guys, we're going to be pulling into dock soon Lieutenants. We're undergoing some upgrades and we can't do it sitting in orbit. Why don't you guys and gals get down to see Commander Cox and arrange your leave schedules. You all definitely deserve it." The captain said and Max was more then happy to oblige

* * *

The People's Republic was definitely looking for war this time around. No smoke and mirrors this time, the incidents were escalating all around the frontier, but nothing formal had yet to come of it.

Max had been on the Tillingham for over two years now, and during these two years he, of course, had seen little action. Given that SDs weren't exactly patrol ships he was okay with this. After all, he wouldn't really want to leave Manticore's orbit.

Jacob Morgan had steadily become a very close friend and over the past two years, the two had toured around the planet, sparred with each other, and generally hung out drinking when they couldn't get planetside.

* * *

As Max walked down the passage towards one of _Hephaestus's_ gyms he grinned, swinging the towel over his shoulder and gleefully rubbing his hands together as he thought of his next sparring session with Jacob.

The pair were surprising well matched, even though Jacob had less of a reach, he was stronger, but Jacob was liked greased lightning, moving so fast he could barely keep track of him. It was late by Manticoran time, but Jacob had managed to bribe and talk his way into getting his leave at the same time as his friend. They were due to go down to the planet anyways and he wondered if they could go back to the beachside candy store which always had those hand made candy canes.

As he stepped into the gym, the population of people here was sparse, and Jacob waved from where he was sitting on the sparring mat.

Max threw down his towel down and immediately dropped into a guard position, 'glaring' at his friend. Jacob hopped up to his feet with an evil grin. "So we meet again?" He said, the way he said it making him sound like some sort of evil mastermind.

"Oh yes we do. You can't fool me twice." He returned, a hand flashing out to block a punch and his other grabbing him and trying to pull him closer, ready to deliver a hard kick to him.

Suddenly he found himself face-first in the mat with no clue as to how he got there. He felt a foot rest upon his back. "Shame, and I thought you were better then this."

Max rolled to the side, his legs taking out Jacob's left while his hands pulled on right, sending Jacob to the floor, trying to windmill for balance that wouldn't come. He grinned and got to his knees, pinning the Manticoran to the mat and resting a hand on his throat.

Jacob lay there stunned for a moment before he recovered and tapped the mat. "Alright Max, that's a neat move, though I guess our sparring matches aren't exactly orthodox."

"Nah, who needs a formal sparring match, these are more fun." Max replied as he stood and pulled the Manticoran up with him. "So, how have you been doing?"

"Pretty good." Jacob said, rolling his left shoulder with a wince. "workload is getting heavier, but as always its the job for me. How about you? I haven't actually talked to you in... What? A week?"

"9 days, but you're close enough." Max said, walking over to the bars, jumping up and doing a chin up. "The skipper has been keeping me busy, says that he's sent in a recommendation to promote me to Lieutenant Commander, says he might move me into engineering so he can keep me rather then moving me out to another ship."

"That's great!" Jacob said, sitting down to stretch out his muscles. This sort of banter was common no matter where they met. "I hope they approve it, we'll be the same rank."

Max pulled himself up into another chin up. "I hope they do too, but sometimes I wonder if I'm going to be called home, after all the GSN needs a lot of manpower." He dropped back to the floor and noticed Jacob didn't look terribly happy at the idea. "Oh come on there Jacob, you know very well I'd keep in touch no matter where I went."

Jacob jumped up, scooped up their towels and motioned towards the locker room. "Come on, lets go get cleaned up and get a drink down at Demsey's, I have this hilarious story to tell you about my PO's treecat."

* * *

A few days later Max was adjusting a suit and tie he had brought with him from Grayson and smiled.

It had come through, the promotion to Lieutenant Commander and he had nearly burst with pride as Commander Cox congratulated him and informed him of his new post within the ship. Best of all he not only got to stay within the RMN, he got to finish out his leave. He had of course written his family about everything, including his promotion and was grateful that Grayson was only a few days travel from Manticore

And tonight he was celebrating.

Jacob had been thrilled that word had come through so fast, so he had suggested they go out to a formal dinner. Max, at first, had protested, but Jacob had been adamant. The first Grayson to be serving in the RMN just got a promotion, that was big news, bigger then his own promotion had been, so why not go all out?

So he and Jacob were going down to a restaurant called The Mary Ann, a restaurant built on a boat that pulled into port for a month or so and then left for the next after that month was up. It was a fancy place, and required dressing up, so here Max was In Jacob's planetside apartment, adjusting his suit and tie and making sure everything else was in order before stepping out of the bathroom.

Jacob was sitting on his couch in the local equivalent of a suit, a bit more shape-hugging without the tie he noted, and he looked up from the tablet he was reading. A strange expression seem to cross his face before he spoke. "Are you ready Max?"

"I am." He replied and Jacob led the way to his aircar.

* * *

The ride didn't seem to take too long before they were at the dock for The Mary Ann.

Jacob led the way onto the boat where the maitre d' seated then a beautifully set table with silverware and crystal glass gleaming in the low light of the dining room.

Max ran his mind over all the various etiquette stuff he had learned back on Grayson and he looked around. All the parties seemed to be pretty small, none larger then four, and all sharply dressed. His eyes passed over the women dressed in the thin formal dresses as though he didn't see them, he really had gotten use to it over his time here.

The wine was soon poured and the salad brought out. It had a variety of leafy greens he wasn't sure he had ever seen before, but they tasted amazing and the dressing was light and refreshing. After he finished the last bit he wiped his mouth and placed the napkin back in his lap.

"Thank you for bringing me here Jacob, I appreciate it. I've eaten formally before, but never in such a small setting. Always at large formal family gatherings."

"I can imagine." Jacob said with a warm smile, taking a sip of his wine. "I'm an only child, but I can still imagine it must not be easy."

"You get use to it." Max replied. "I just couldn't imagine being an only child, having a house to only myself and my parents? Doesn't seem possible."

Jacob nodded and the two continued to chat amiably while the meal progressed.

* * *

"... So Charlotte and I decided that the enemy was trying to play us for a fool, and we nailed him when he thought we were dead." Max finished as the two walked down the quiet pier, a pleasant breeze blowing off the ocean while ships sailed about, the lights adorning them shining like jewels. "I still have a recording of that exercise in my locker, its amusing to watch from time-to-time."

Max leaned against a safety railing at the end, looking at the water below, smoothing his tie of wrinkle. As he looked back up at Jacob, the Manticoran seemed lost in thought and max was content to just let him.

"Your planet is amazing." Max said quietly, and Jacob turned to look at him.

"What was that?"

"Your planet, its amazing. So clean, so alive." He smiled and threw his arms out, taking a deep breath of the salty air. "I could stay here forever, I am so glad to have been assigned here, everything is just perfect. I have great friends, a great ship, I've been promoted." He sighed, still smiling as he looked up at the sky. "I feel at home here Jacob. It really is amazing."

Max stared up at the sky, his eyes glowing with happiness as he saw little glimmers of lights move around in orbit and through atmosphere to their destinations. It really was amazing it was...

His thoughts were broken as he felt someone grip his arm and pull him close. Suddenly he was kissing and for a moment, one pure moment of confusion he had no idea what was going on. Jacob pulled back as he looked down at him, and Max looked up at him.

And then everything just seemed to break apart. He had just been kissed by a guy. _He had just been kissed by a guy._ Nonono that wasn't right. _That wasn't right!_

Max began to back away, and Jacob's face suddenly was filled with a bit of panic and embarrassment as he realized what he had just done. "Wait Max, I'm sorry I di..."

Maximilian Carson turned and ran, feeling his confusion and panic tearing at his soul like an enraged treecat.


	5. Author's Note

**Authors Note**

 _Alright readers, up to this point I was trying to keep what could possibly improve Maximilian Carson's life for the better. He is a son of Grayson, he's had the right to vote, own land, and work since he was baby, what else could he possibly get?_

 _Well I'm going to try and address an issue that has been discuss in the HHverse fandom before, but the author glossed over in an infodump._

 _David Weber stated that sexual orientation doesn't matter to a Manticoran, and I am going to assume that for the majority of the galaxy like the Solarian League, Andermani, and Haven, have the same position. Mark Sarnow is happily married to his male partner, Honor even states at some point(before she starts dating) that 'it wasn't that she was into women, she just didn't want a relationship' (That's a paraphrase.)_

 _After this point I'm not going to shy away from it. I'm exploring the rights of gays/homosexuals in the Honorverse. Because no matter what its like in the future, right here and now this is still a hot topic for us today, especially when some religious bodies reject the 'idea' of homosexuality._

 _I am just a writer, and I hope that while you continue reading that you can see what kind of struggle a person might go through, not just sexual, but spiritual, as well._

 _Thank you for reading, and as always, constructive criticism is always welcome **.**_


	6. Is it a Test?

**There probably will not be many spoilers for plot points in this stories except passing references to the books when I feel they are necessary. This story contains massive amounts of OCs and I will try to stay away from cannon characters unless referenced in passing.**

 **Also, thank you for reading this far into my story. It means a lot to me, even if I haven't been the best at updating it. Please enjoy and review.**

* * *

Maximillian threw himself into his work in the days after that night of his promotion. It wasn't exactly abnormal, since he'd been transferred down to engineering and was learning even more about the ship he was on, how it ran, and such from the older officers. But he knew he was avoiding thinking about what happened.

Calls from Jacob went unanswered but Max couldn't find the nerve to block him. He rarely strayed out of the ship and when he did he was quick and quiet about it, he stayed aboard ship reading books on his e-reader, exercising in the gym, or playing games on the terminal. On unlucky nights he couldn't sleep he'd go walking aimlessly around the ship, wishing his mind would stop replaying the kiss he'd received.

The kiss from a man.

* * *

"Hey Max."

Max didn't roll over in his bunk, hoping Linea would go away. He was not in the mood to go out and drink or in the mood to talk all that much.

"Is he sleeping?" James asked.

"Go on ahead you guys," Linea said, shooing them out of the room, waiting til the hatched closed before crossing her arms, looking up at his bunk. "Maximillian Austen Carson. I know you aren't sleeping."

"Go on without me, I'm not in the mood." Max said and Linea sighed.

"Max."

Her voice had changed, it was softer and it made him roll over to look down at her. "Can you come down here please?" He thought about saying no before he climbed down. Linea studied him for a moment. "Max, this isn't like you."

"What isn't like me? I just want to sleep." He snapped and instantly regretted his tone.

"No not the sleeping, everything. You've been different since your promotion and everyone knows it. You quieter, less social, you never seem to leave the ship and you overwork yourself." Linea said, looking worried. "even the Captain has noticed, he asked me the other day if something happened and I of course don't know so I said that. But everyone is worried. You don't seem happy anymore."

Max sighed. "I... I'm sorry, but its personal, I'll get over it myself." He went to go climb back up into his bunk, but Linea reached out and grabbed his arm.

"Max please, if something happened, no matter what it is, I will be here to help. You're a friend. Please I hate seeing you like this." LInea's voice was sincere he noted, and he shifted uncomfortably, looking away.

"The night I went off with Jacob to celebrate my promotion, it had been a great night. The food amazing, I learned things about Jacob I never known. Afterwards we were walking down a quiet pier and..." He stopped unable to say what had happened, it was just a kiss, but it still didn't feel right. LInea's expression began to get angry as she connected dots that were there and he raised his hands. "No, no its okay, he didn't... hurt me..." He said awkwardly.

"But?" She said slowly..

"He... he kissed me." He finally admitted, feeling his face heat in embarrassment.

"He did?" Linea questioned, seeming surprised.

"Yes and it felt... strange wrong.. I don't know!" He turned away to walk to a bulkhead. "I just... I don't know."

"Is there something wrong with that?" She asked softly"

"There's everything wrong with it! Its... Its not natural!" Max snapped at her, feeling tears in his eyes as the frustration and all those other emotions finally found an outlet he had denied them. "I'm a Grayson man. One day I will go home to protect my planet, marry a woman, or even two if I can afford it, raise a gaggle of kids and hopefully have a son to call my own. I pray to the Tester, my father is a great man, with two wives and two sons and my brother is married to a wife and has two daughters already, I'm sure another will be on the way soon. Thats what I'm supposed to do. I... I just..."

Linea walked over and rested a hand on his shoulder.

"You're afraid."

"what?" He questioned, reaching up to scrub at his face and the tears running down his cheeks.

"I'm assuming all your life you've been told and taught that you'll marry a woman and have a ton of kids that you never considered that there might be other options." Linea said softly and Max turned to start pacing.

"Back when I was younger, maybe 7 or something, in Sunday school a boy in my class asked if a 'boy could love another boy' and the teacher said of course like a brother or a father. and the boy asked again like 'no can a boy like a boy like a boy can love a girl.' I remember the look of shock of the man's face before he denied such a thing. On Grayson, its a survival thing. with every 2 out of three births female, all males have to reproduce or else we'd all die off..." He stopped pacing.

"You're not on Grayson though." Linea said. "Now I know your religion is very important to you, and what Jacob did probably really threw you off. But remember he comes from a different planet as you, where this is accepted. Being homosexual, or loving a man, or whatever you call it, isn't unnatural. From everything you told me about Jacob, you admire and respect him, the two of you get along like a house on fire, you often go out and about to different places. This doesn't make it totally right, but maybe in that admiration you had for him he saw some of his desire reflected in you?"

Max looked at Linea and wanted her to be wrong, to agree that it wasn't natural. But as he looked at her he realized she was right. He'd spent much more time with Jacob than any other person he cared to name, even his fellow Lieutenants. He sat down on one of the lower bunks and buried his face in his hands.

"Max?"

He looked up at his friend, seeing the concern in her eyes.

"Do you love Jacob?"

Max stayed silent, wringing his hands. He almost said no. But something stopped him. Instead he said, "I don't know."

"You'll know in time, but you'll be in here wringing your hands til next week if you don't at least call Jacob and see. We don't judge here, and we won't rat you out to anyone, so if you want to experiment a bit, you can." Linea said. "I just want you to be happy. and I'm sure that your parents would rather you be happy then so anti-social." She sat down next to him and gave him a hug, and for some reason it didn't feel awkward. "Please give him a call." She got up. "I'm going to go to Dempsey's, if you need help, just call and I'll be back to help you." She got up and walked, leaving Max alone.

* * *

Max had been staring at the com terminal for the last hour or so, his hand hovering over the button that would send his request to talk with Jacob.

He finally pressed and after a minute or two it was answered voice only.

 _"mmm this is Lieutenant Commander Jacob Morgan, how can I help you?"_ The voice sounded tired and Max felt a bit bad for waking him.

"Jacob? Its me, Max."

The silence on the com was so unnerving, he thought maybe the call had dropped. But then...

" _Max, as in Maximillian Carson_?" Jacob questioned.

"Yeah, I just..." He felt awkward and out of sorts. "I just wanted to apologize for running off."

 _"No... No need. I shouldn't of done what I did to you."_ Jacob answered. _"If you don't want to speak to me again, I would completely understand."_

"NO!" He snapped quickly before calming himself. "No... I want to see you again."

 _"You do? But,"_ Jacob began.

"Don't say anything about my religion. I just want to see you again, alright?" Max said, hating how awkward this felt. "How about we just meet up in the one of the private observation decks? Just to talk."

 _"That sounds good. When is good for you?"_ Jacob asked, and Max noticed the tired sounding voice seemed replaced by a more hopeful one.

"Two days, after my shift is over at 1400." Max replied.

 _"I'll be there..."_ The Manticoran paused for a moment. _"Thank you for calling me."  
_

"I..." Max shook his head, unable to find works more than. "You're Welcome, I'll see you in a couple days."

As he ended the com call he sat back, running a hand through his hair. Was he really going to do this? Would the Tester approve? Was this part of his Test? He didn't know and the Tester was being kinda quiet lately.

He would get his answers, he was sure, in two days.


End file.
